B’nai Mitzvah Reflections for Parents

The Magical Tallit 

Our daughter used my husband’s tallit at her Bat Mitzvah. Actually, all our children used it as part of their rites of passage for a very special reason. My mom gave it to my husband as a gift. My mom, our children’s Bubbe, passed away when our youngest daughter was two years old. She does, however, have so many photos of Bubbe holding her and cuddling her. She feels as though she knows Bubbe. In this, using the tallit Bubbe gave her dad was very meaning for our daughter. 

However, it’s also meaningful to my husband…so it was headed back to him. In that, our daughter needed a tallit of her own.

Her older sister was studying in Israel on a gap year program and we planned a girls’ trip. While there, our daughter went tallit shopping in the ancient, mystical city of Tsfat. She watched them make tallitot at the loom, she tried on tallit after tallit and when she finally found hers, it took my breath away. It enveloped her and hugged her. She said it felt like home. 

The tallit whether passed down from a relative, chosen from a shop in Tsfat, made lovingly, picked out from an online store and gifted to your child from a friend or relative, is very important. It’s a comfort, a unique and individual representation of your child’s uniqueness. It’s a reminder that your child is part of the Jewish people.

The fringes or tzit tzit on the tallit share the same number as the commandments - 613 - contained in the Torah. It’s a reminder to us of the good they can bring our lives through doing our best to live by them. It is also a partner to us in worshipping and making a personal, spiritual connection.

In that, the tallit is spiritual and personal. It should be a beautiful partner, magically chosen to embrace the Bar or Bat Mitzvah on this special day and for years to come.